Why I'm shamelessly reading fanfiction

I first talked about fanfiction back in 2017. Back then I was discussing whether it should ever count towards reading goals, despite the fact that I really didn't read it. The post was definitely written with a mocking tone and I can tell from reading it that I didn't think fanfiction should really be taken seriously, despite the length of many stories. 

Sometime in the past year or so, it seems that fanfiction has become more mainstream in the book community. It's very common to see more popular fics included in recommendation lists on BookTok. I've seen Manacled, in particular, recommended and discussed more and more in the past few months amongst many creators, which was my first real foray into the world of fanfiction and I found that I loved it! But then I went back to published works and didn't pick up another fanfic until October... and now I can't stop. 

As you might know if you read my blog semi-regularly, I've been in a bit of a slump for the past year and a half as life wreaked havoc on my mental health. I've struggled to post regularly and, more upsetting, to read regularly. Or at least, as regularly as I'd like. This year I've turned to new genres to get back into the groove, but what's shocked me the most in the past few months is that I've come to absolutely love and appreciate fanfiction. 

I've thought a lot about why this is as I tried to convince myself to read a "real" book in between stories. Why is it so easy and comforting to read these sometimes beautiful stories that people put into the world for free? 

Think about the fact that, when you choose a story to read on AO3, you're probably choosing from a fandom you already love. When you go into a work of fanfiction, you know the characters. You probably love them already, and you're probably already very invested in their lives. You already know the world and can't wait to jump back into it. There's no effort required to understand a new world or understand who new characters are. There's only the effort it takes to fall into a story full of people and places you adore. It brings a whole new meaning to "comfort read." 

While I was wondering if I was just late to the game that everyone else was already playing, I came across this Forbes article discussing the fanfiction boom of 2020, which apparently began around the time of lockdown. Apparently, traffic to AO3, the most popular fanfiction website, increased by 60% year over year in April 2020. 

Obviously, fanfiction has been around forever. I remember people reading when I was in high school, but I certainly was not one of them. The only fanfics I knew about were, frankly, awful. I just didn't know where to look! Some of my absolute favorite reads of all time have been discovered in the past three months, and I'll be shamelessly reading for the foreseeable future. It isn't as if I'm going to run out of material! 

For anyone like me who is interested but has no idea where to start (the AO3 search is intimidating), here's the fanfiction genre page on Goodreads with some popular options! 

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Do you read fanfiction?

What's your comfort genre?

Let me know in the comments!

The unexpected ways my reading habits changed in 2021

In 2020 and 2021 I used a reading spreadsheet in addition to Goodreads to track all of my reading stats. In addition to the categories shown, I started tracking categories in 2021 to challenge myself to read more diversely. For the purposes of this post, though, I'll be sharing how my reading habits changed in relation to genre, age range, and book format!

READING BY BOOK FORMAT

Starting off with the least interesting, I wanted to see how I've changed my physical reading habits. For example, in 2020 I read mostly audiobooks, followed by hardcovers. So how did I do things differently in 2021?

This was certainly an unforeseen change! For starters, I read significantly less audiobooks. Despite what I first though, this isn't because I've listened to less audiobooks! It's because I've read more actual books this year than last. While I only read 80ish books in 2020, I'm already over 100 for this year, so the percentage of audio is lower.

The most obvious difference is that I've read over half my books in ebook format! I think this can be largely explained by three things. First, I bought a Kindle Oasis this year and it is my new best friend. We go EVERYWHERE together! Second, I joined Kindle Unlimited and got a hankering for dark romance books that are almost all on KU. Finally, I started reading fanfiction and (obviously) that's in ebook format. My poor physical copies are feeling very lonely right about now. 

READING BY AGE RANGE

Next, I took a look at how I've changed my reading habits by age range. This blog started out and has remained a mostly YA book blog for several years, but that definitely changed this year!

Along with the introduction of dark romance and KU came significantly more adult books. This has definitely shown up around the blog in a way that I'm not entirely sure how to work with. What even is my blog if not mostly YA? I've still read young adult books this year, but not even close to how many I do in a normal year. While YA books made up 57% of my reading in 2020, they were less than 16% in 2021. Honestly, I'm a little worried for myself because I have a TON of YA books sitting unread on my bookshelves and I'm waiting for the inspiration to read them. Still, I've found a ton of new authors to love!

READING BY GENRE

Finally, the category I've been most excited to see as a graph: what genres I've read most. Surely I'm still reading mostly fantasy even if it's adult fantasy, right? 

*laughs nervously*

Well, I guess not. In 2020, fantasy made up exactly 50% of the books I read, while it clocked in at just 22.3% in 2021 (so far). So what else am I reading?? Well, I read 2.3% romance in 2020, but 23.7% romance in 2021. Hmm. That's... something. I've also read more graphic novels and have been introduced to webtoons and fanfiction!

Interestingly, some genres that have stayed roughly the same. Thrillers, contemporary, and non-fiction stayed pretty close, while I read a bit less horror and sci-fi. This isn't visible, but mystery dropped to less than 1% from 11% in 2020. I'm very curious to see how these trends change in the next year! 

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Do you track your reading habits?

How have your preferences changed?

Let me know in the comments!

Books I preordered in 2021 and haven't read

It never fails. Every year I preorder a bunch of books and every year most of them sit unread until sometime down the road. Occasionally I even wait for the audiobook to be available from the library so that I can read it with my ears. This mainly stems from being a horrible mood reader, which I've discussed at length in other posts, but I can't believe ONLY mood readers do this. 

Dark Rise by C.S. Pacat

The Captive Prince trilogy is one of my all-time favorite series and one of the few I've read more than once. But that was adult and Dark Rise is YA, and I think that's the main reason I've been so hesitant to actually pick this up, despite preordering it months early. It's going to be hard for this book to live up to her first series for me, especially knowing the characters are teenagers. I'll definitely read it! Just as soon as I work up the nerve.

Leviathan Wakes by James S.A. Corey

Yeah, honestly I don't even know with this one. Sci-fi isn't a genre I read very often and certainly not adult sci-fi. My husband loved the show, but I never got around to watching it. It was probably a combination of the gorgeous anniversary edition along with the hype. I did start the audiobook, but nothing seemed to be happening and I got bored. I'll get back to it eventually!

Phantom Heart by Kelly Creagh

Yep, this is another one I'm legitimately scared to start. I read and adored this author's Nevermore series years ago, but I've never read anything else by her (I believe this is the first thing she's traditionally published since). I love Nevermore and I love Phantom of the Opera, but what if I don't love this? Does this happen to anyone else?

Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo

Listen, don't come at me. I am obsessed with the original Grisha Trilogy and Six of Crows was fine. Admittedly, I didn't love King of Scars all that much, but the ending GOT ME. Still, I'm really scared of what's going to happen based on that ending and I'm pretty sure it's going to be what I don't want to happen. I feel like Leigh is kind of backtracking with this plot line and I don't want to see it. I did buy the expensive Illumicrate edition and for what?? I'll read it, I'll read it.

Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon

Everyone who knows me knows that I am HERE for cult books. I preordered this and opened it immediately and... realized it might not be for me. The writing was a bit out of my comfort zone and I just really need to be in the mood to read something different than normal when I finally pick this up again.

Gods & Monsters by Shelby Mahurin

Series enders, am I right? I absolutely loved the first two books in this series, but I have friends who did not care for this finale and now I'm hesitant to pick it up. Never mind that I ordered multiple special editions. I'm kind of worried that I wasted money on multiple copies of a book I won't love and I am SO tired of last books in series letting me down. I'm going to read it, I swear!

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Do you preorder books and then not read them?
Have you read any of these?
Let me know in the comments!

My favorite (and least favorite) spinoffs

Every time I see a new spinoff announced, I get a little bit worried that they won't live up to the original series. Today I'm sharing some I loved, some I didn't, and a few I still want to read! 

HATED

Believe me when I tell you I LOVED The Selection series and was so hyped for The Heir to release! Imagine my disappointment when America and Maxon's kid was insufferable.

Ah yes, another series I was absolutely obsessed with. I rushed out on release day to buy a copy of Noah Shaw and was extremely sad when I couldn't even bring myself to finish it.

LOVED

After the disappointment of The Heir and The Becoming of Noah Shaw, I was skeptical of The Midnight Lie. Thankfully, it ended up being one of my favorite reads of 2020! The sequel wasn't perfect, but only because I wanted more of it.

TO READ

I haven't gotten around to reading A Shadow in the Ember only because I still need to finish A Crown of Gilded Bones! I've heard amazing things about it though and I definitely want more from this world! (Also I just noticed the leaves are identically placed on the covers).

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What spinoffs have you loved or hated?
Which would you love to see written?
Let me know in the comments!

2020 TBR Revisited

As I recently discussed, I am a terrible mood reader. For this reason, I almost never follow my TBR, but I still make them for Top Ten Tuesday posts four times per year. I thought it would be fun to look back at my lists for 2020 and see how many books I actually got around to reading!

12 out of 36. Oof. (Note: Since I made this graphic I did start and DNF Addie LaRue.)

Of the books I read, most were sequels or series enders. The new-to-me books that I picked up were The Project by Courtney Summers, A Song of Wraiths and Ruin by Roseanne A. Brown, The Hollow Places by T. Kingfisher, and When No One is Watching by Alyssa Cole. My favorites of the twelve were The Fires of Vengeance by Evan Winter and The Empire of Gold by S.A. Chakraborty, both highly anticipated sequels. 

Despite not having read them, I do own seventeen additional books on this list. I may need to go on a buying ban, to be honest. Maybe I'll actually get around to reading them in the year to come!

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Do you stick to TBR lists?

Have you read any of these?

Let me know in the comments!

Mood reading is the worst

Being a mood reader is absolutely wild. I can go from reading adult high fantasy to only wanting to read middle grade graphic novels. From reading YA fantasy exclusively to nothing but the best dark spicy romance.

I wish SO MUCH that I could sit down and pull a book title from a jar and read it. I have so many incredible books on my shelves that I preordered because I really wanted to read them. I even have access to ARCs of some of my most anticipated 2021 releases! And what have I been reading? Kindle unlimited romance. Thanks, brain. 

To illustrate this I decided to grab screenshots from my handy dandy reading spreadsheets from 2020 and 2021. Although last year was rough in terms of reading, my habits did stay pretty on par with years prior. This year has been completely wild though! 

2020 READING STATS

 

As you can see, in 2020 I read mainly YA fantasy, which makes sense when you look at my blog's history. My header even used to include "a mostly YA blog" and nearly every review was for a fantasy book. I did read quite a bit of adult, although those were mostly thrillers, horror, and mystery. Now let's look at my 2021 extreme mood reading stats!

2021 READING STATS (SO FAR)

Who's reading stats are these because they can't be mine? How does one go from reading 57% YA books to 76% adult? How does one go from reading 2.3% romance to 23.7% romance? Who even am I? I think a year and a half of watching how morons respond to COVID has changed something in my brain. Why can't I enjoy YA fantasy anymore?? 

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Are you a mood reader or do you have a TBR?

Can you read anything at any time? 

Let me know in the comments!

Reading (and writing!) with aphantasia

In January of 2020 I wrote a post about reading without a mind's eye and discussed what reading with aphantasia is like for me. Since then, I've thought about this A LOT. Almost daily I think about whether or not I can "see" things. Am I overthinking this whole visualization thing? Surely people can't literally see scenes play out like they're watching TV. They must be exaggerating, right? Maybe my being able to think about or imagine something is what visualizing is. But no, I'm definitely not visualizing.

I've talked to countless people about their experiences and, while I'm still not convinced people can actually SEE things in their minds, I've accepted that I truly can't do whatever it is they can. This week I decided to reach out to both sides of the book community to see how many readers and writers are able to visualize. 

First, I reached out to readers on Book Twitter and in a large reading group on Facebook. While I didn't have tons of responses, I did end up hearing from just shy of 400 people.

READER RESPONSES

Most of them were fully able to visualize while reading. We're talking movies playing in their heads and forgetting they're looking at words on a page! Some were also able to visualize in flashes or could see settings but not people. One person even described visualizing more like a storyboard. Several readers said they took on the role of the main character and saw events from their point of view, which sounds amazing to me! Some people were very confused about how it's even possible to read without being able to visualize and got a bunch of info from various aphants. 

Next, I tweeted out into the universe in hopes that Twitter would get me to the right place. Thankfully, some wonderful people got my tweet to Author Twitter and I got a really great response there too! At the time that I made this chart, I had 180 responses. 

AUTHOR RESPONSES

I honestly did not see this coming at all. While the overwhelming majority of authors who responded do visualize what they're writing, it seems that more writers than readers are unable to do so. One reason I've given for not wanting to write is that I can't picture settings or faces or clothes or anything else, but apparently there is a significant portion of authors who are able to come up with entire books full of visuals without being able to see them. One aphant author said she uses reference images if she really struggles to describe something, while a visualizing author said she considers all the senses while writing.

The only thing I can confidently say is that everyone has very different things going on inside their minds while reading and writing.

MUSINGS OF AN APHANT

This post is already getting long, but I really want to share some random thoughts I've had while thinking about my own aphantasia over the past year and a half. 

• People often ask me if I can hear the character's voices while reading and the answer is a hard no. I don't hear things in my mind either. I've also heard that some people can imagine taste, smell, and touch in their minds and I can't do that either. I guess I'm what they call a full aphant. 
• I think that my lack of visualization is the reason I get so bored with books people consider slow. Unless it's extremely atmospheric, I don't have much patience for books that are super slow, probably because I can't visualize what's happening during the lags. 
• Similarly, I think this is why it takes a certain kind of horror book to scare me. SO many books on "most terrifying" lists don't do a thing for me. Pet Semetary is constantly recommended to me as terrifying but I was incredibly bored. I tend to prefer creepypasta-style horror because it's more to the point.
• As I mentioned, I am okay with slow books if they're very atmospheric and make me feel a certain way while reading. Several of my favorite books fall into this category! Some great examples of this are For the Wolf by Hannah Whitten and The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson. Both have been repeatedly called slow in reviews, but the atmosphere created by the authors transported me without visuals.
• Very often when I'm reading I skim long descriptions of places and people. I really couldn't care less about how many ruffles are on Jane's dress because I can't see them. I don't need to read about the seventeen species of trees in the garden because I can't see that either. I've been known to skim full pages of description, especially in fantasy. 
  

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Do you visualize while reading?

How would you describe your reading experience? 

Let me know in the comments!

Special editions are out of control! Updated for 2021

What was once just a post about how there were SO many editions of a few popular books has now become a feature that I update every two years. In 2017 I made my first post discussing the many editions of Caraval, Tower of Dawn, and some others. I did an update in 2019 focusing on the ever growing number of Caraval editions along with the Folk of the Air series. I've been thinking about this 2021 update for awhile but wasn't sure when or if to post it. It seems that as the years go by, people are split into a few categories: those who don't care either way, those who are annoyed with all the special editions and see them as money grabs, and those who LOVE them and become irate when people in the second camp say something about their irritation. 

I fall into the second camp. I really can't put into words exactly why it bothers me so much when publishers put out several special editions of a recently released title, but it definitely turns me off of certain series and authors. As much as I loved Caraval when it was being published, I stopped collecting it once more and more editions were announced. Something about the blatant money grab by the publisher rubbed me the wrong way and put a bit of a damper on my love for the series. There are certainly series that I love and collect multiple editions of, but too many irks me and I can't explain it. 

I know other people are obsessed with collecting every edition and that's totally fine too! Everyone shows their love of books differently and that's how it should be.

Without further ado, let's jump into it! (Note: I am only including US & UK editions in these counts.) 

CARAVAL
Caraval editions: 11
Legendary editions: 9
Finale editions: 12

Of course, we have to start with the book that began everything special edition here on the blog. Not much has changed in this regard, but I couldn't go without giving a recap of every edition (excluding US paperbacks and foreign editions) that I'm aware of. 

Starting on the left, we have the US hardcover, UK hardcover, and UK paperback of each book. Each UK hardcover also had an exclusive Goldsboro edition that was signed and numbered with sprayed edges. In addition, there was a Waterstones exclusive hardcover of Finale with sprayed edges. A B&N exclusive edition of Finale was also published. In the middle are all the hidden covers for the UK hardcover editions. These are special embossed hardcovers under the dust jacket that have different images or quotes. There is also an additional Caraval hidden cover that could only be purchased at Tesco. On the top right are the deluxe editions published in collaboration with Fairyloot. Beneath that are the Waterstones exclusive Legendary paperback, the Finale Fairyloot edition, and the Finale Owlcrate edition. On the bottom right are the exclusive Caraval paperbacks that could only be purchased at certain places in the UK (also shown is the standard UK paperback). 

Only one additional edition has been published since my last post, the collector's edition. This edition includes a slipcover and can be purchased everywhere online for $35. I'm not sure why a book with 10 other editions needed a collector's edition four years after publication, but here we are. This is the single series with the most editions I've ever seen by far.

THE FOLK OF THE AIR

5 editions of each

In my 2019 update I discussed The Folk of the Air series by Holly Black. Since then, more editions have been released along with a novella which also has five editions. 

Starting with the top left there is the standard US hardcover of The Cruel Prince, the UK hardcover, Owlcrate edition, Illumicrate edition, and Fairyloot edition. In the second row is the US hardcover of The Wicked King, followed by the Owlcrate, Illumicrate, and Fairyloot editions. In the third row is the US hardcover of The Queen of Nothing, Waterstones Exclusive, Owlcrate, Illumicrate, and Fairyloot editions. Each of these three books also have exclusive Illumicrate dust jackets. In the last row is the standard US edition of How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories, the Waterstones exclusive, B&N's exclusive, Owlcrate, and Fairyloot editions. 

THE INVISIBLE LIFE OF ADDIE LARUE

10(ish) editions

Next is the book that inspired me to update this post. The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue was published in October 2020 and already has so many editions I could hardly believe it when each one was announced. 

This book hit the shelves with six editions right off the bat. Starting with the top left is the standard US hardcover, the UK hardcover (first print had blue sprayed edges), Illumicrate edition, Waterstones exclusive (with gold sprayed edges), Owlcrate edition, and Forbidden Planet exclusive. Beginning after that are upcoming editions that will be published this September and October. First is the standard (?) collector's edition, followed by the B&N exclusive. Then is a screenshot for a special "Autumn" edition from Waterstones that no one has much idea about. Finally is a paperback edition found for preorder on Forbidden Planet that I have been unable to find any information about. I'm genuinely not sure if there are or will be more editions of this book, but I feel like there's definitely one or two I missed. 

CHAIN OF IRON

5 editions

I haven't paid much attention to Cassandra Clare's books over the years because I don't read them, but I couldn't help noticing the frenzy around her latest release. Chain of Iron definitely had quite a few editions!

First in this bunch is the standard hardcover, which seems to be the same in the US and UK. Next is the Waterstones exclusive, Illumicrate edition, Fairyloot edition, and UK tour edition. The previous book in this series, Chain of Gold, seems to have the same editions, perhaps with the exception of a tour copy. At least, I didn't find that one. Either way, it's A LOT of the same book. 

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"So Tracy," you may ask. "What book(s) DO you collect?" I actually collect a few and the most I have of one book is eight copies of Shadow and Bone. My collection includes two different ARCs, three foreign editions, the original hardcover, and the US and UK collector's editions, which released nearly ten years after the book was published. All that to say, I do love to collect. Just because we don't do it the same way doesn't mean either of us is wrong! I can't stand new releases with a hundred editions, but I'm happy they exist for those that love them!

Do you collect multiple editions?

What book do you have the most copies of? 

Let me know in the comments! 

How has 2020 affected your blog?

So, 2020. 

Yep. 

Truly, I feel like a broken record this year. Every time I post I feel like I'm reiterating that I've been MIA, but that I promise I'll be posting more regularly. And then, I just don't. Because this year has truly been the biggest dumpster fire I've ever experienced.
 

Sometimes, I look around and feel like my blogging friends are all doing great! You're still posting regularly and interacting with the community and I genuinely wonder how it's possible. Please, allow me to share an infographic detailing my 2020. 

The funny thing about all of this is that I'm actually feeling okay overall. I'm reading and keeping up with my goals for the year for the most part. I'm enjoying hobbies and taking more time for self care. But it seems like something (what?) keeps me from sitting down and posting. I try, I really do, but as soon as I sit in front of the computer, I decide I literally just cannot. Can someone who understands psychology please explain this? 

But I know, I KNOW that there have to be people struggling as much as I am. So today I want to know how 2020 has impacted your blogging habits. Are you still reading and posting like you have every other year? Even MORE than every other year? Or have you, like me, dropped off the planet just a bit?

Guilty Pleasure Reads

Heyyyy look! My first discussion post since *checks notes* March! Let's do this!

I've always liked to think that I don't have guilty pleasure reads, but the last few months have taught me that I absolutely do. It isn't necessarily that I feel embarrassed about reading them, although that is sometimes the case. Most of the time the guilt comes from feeling like I'm somehow wasting time by rereading books that I've already read that I know are objectively not that great. Especially when I could be reading something for review or something newly released that I'm dying to get to. 

Not surprisingly, the first thing that comes to mind when I consider guilty pleasures is the Twilight Saga. I honestly couldn't tell you what it is about this series that speaks to me besides nostalgia, although I was in my early 20s when I first read them. 

When Midnight Sun was announced I mocked it, but you better believe I was reading it on release day. Throughout the 600+ pages of this book I continually had to remind myself that it's OKAY to enjoy it, even knowing that the story is certainly worthy of all the cringes. One of my best bookish friends made fun of me throughout the entire reading process and I debated publicly even saying that I was reading it, but you know what? I'm too old.

Reading Midnight Sun was cathartic because it made me realize that I'm past being embarrassed about enjoying something. Yes it's cringe-worthy and problematic. Yes I get secondhand embarrassment for the characters. But the world sucks right now in so many ways, so I'm taking my enjoyment wherever I can find it. I dived right into New Moon after I finished. Don't @ me.

Another book that comes to mind is A Court of Thorns and Roses. I was shocked to realize this year that I had read this book FOUR times. Just the first one. I don't know when it happened, but A Court of Thorns and Roses became THE book I go to when I'm feeling depressed, overwhelmed, or otherwise emotional.

I'm well aware that this isn't regarded as the best book in the series, but there's something immensely comforting to me about Feyre's journey in ACOTAR. I could have spent all that time reading something new or something people consider to be better. I know a subset of the bookish community likes to poo poo on Sarah J. Maas, but something about this book specifically just makes me feel better.

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What are your guilty pleasure books?

Do you ever re-read?
Let me know in the comments!